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Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in The Goddamn Champion's LiveJournal:

Sunday, September 3rd, 2006
9:03 am
Saturday, September 2nd, 2006
9:00 pm
My Trip To Louisiana
"Do my eyes deceive me?", said I.
God retorted: "My name is God and I hate you."

It was in that glorious moment that there before me stood THE SKELETON CHRIST.




Now would be an appropriate time to insert lyrics to "Skeleton Christ" by SLAYER.


Unbound God's creation
Has grown into the sinner
abandoned innocence
Impenitent transgressor
Escape mortality
They say your life can change
If you take God's hand
Embrace rebirth
Your cleansing's so divine
To be reborn in God's eyes

You'll never touch God's hand
You'll never taste God's breath
Because you'll never see the second coming
Life's too short to be focused on insanity
I've seen the ways of God
I'll take the devil anyday
Hail Satan

1st solo ( Lead - King )

Your faith has astrophied
And rots in hell's asylum
Despondence tears you down
A free-falling social stain
Escape atrocity
They say your life can change

If you take God's hand
Embrace rebirth
Your cleansing's so divine
To be reborn in God's lies


You'll never touch God's hand
You'll never taste God's breath
Because you'll never see the second coming
It's all a fuckin' mockery
No grasp upon reality
It's mind control for
Compulsory religion and the Skeleton Christ

You'll never touch God's hand
You'll never taste God's breath
Because you'll never see the second coming
I laugh at the abortion known as Christianity

I've seen the ways of God
I'll take the devil anyday
Hail Satan

2nd solo ( Lead - King )

You'll never touch God's hand
You'll never taste God's breath
Because you'll never see the second coming
It's all a fuckin' mockery
No grasp upon reality
It's mind control for
Compulsory religion and the Skeleton Christ

3rd solo ( Lead - Hanneman )
Monday, February 21st, 2005
5:31 pm
Operation: Crustacean
Agents:

  • SwollenOstritch

  • Banana-X

  • Maverick

  • Iceman

  • 2 Unnamed covert operatives


Team A: Wet Bandits
SwollenOstritch
Iceman
TeamB: Sticky Bandits
Maverick
Iceman
Banana-X
Our mission: to obtain multiple tasty lobsters, and feast upon them from within the theatrical compound that is FLAGSHIP CINEMAS


Hours of pre-planning went into this operation. Lobster orders were placed via telephone.




It was about time for the Wet Bandits to make their move.


It was worth every penny.

Obtaining the lobster was only half our objective. Preparing the corpse for transportation was rather messy.




Armaments were still needed at this point. That's when Team Sticky Bandits went to work.


The best part about this photo is nothing was put into the trunk.
The last objective to our planning included the vital information of whether or not a green apple can be sliced by a Honda Civic passenger window.

Success!!


The lobster needed to be carefully packaged in order to be transported.


Nutcrackers and forks were our weapons of choice.


The most baffling mystery was how we were able to infiltrate with lobsters. A single messenger bag proved the key component to our mission.


(left-to-right)Maverick, Banana-X, Iceman, SwollenOstritch
Upon purchasing our tickets, we next entered the theater, our entry plans went flawlessly. As soon as projection began it was time to execute the master plan. What noise, what foul odor comes from the cracking of a lobster shell. With these nuisances, accompanied by flash photography, we were amazed to find zero complaints amongst the 8 other theater-goers.




To conclude this debriefing, I would like to say it brought me great pleasure to be a part of this squad, for every once in a great while, a couple of ordinary geeks were able to accomplish the unthinkable. It quite possibly was the single greatest moment in my life. For that fateful Saturday night, we entered Flagship cinemas as nerds...
and we exited as nerds that smelled like lobster, or what I like to call, *LOBSTARS*.



THE AFTERMATH


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